If "Life begins at 40" what happens at 50?

Sorry another dated post but since it was started it now posted...

First off in December I opened a letter from the AARP folks. I thought "they have the wrong guy! - This is junk mail! - I am not an old person! - how did they get my name?". As I read it and realized they accept members when they reach the overripe age of 50 and I set it aside in frustration since I would be joining the over the hill (OTH) club in about a month. I stil have done nothing with it as I do not really want to feel I fit in with AARP folks (cause their old) and besides I think one of those letters stands for Retirement and the way my retirement savings are dwindling I will be the Wal-Mart greeter when I am 80 (in one of those stylish motorized wheelchairs). Hey - since my middle name does not start with an "L" they really do not have the right person :-)

Next when turning 50 lets see - oh yes the infamous colonoscopy which is not scheduled or completed yet. I actually had a Endoscopy last summer for a suspected ulcer and I ended up having twins (two ulcers) but they were both small and I am working to make them go away. So when I was leaving the doctor told me he hoped to see me for the colonoscopy after I hit the big 5-OH. Well I cannot say I am excited but I am intrigued (a high curiosity or interest in something unusual, new, or strange) okay maybe intrigued is a little strong, lets just say I am willing to do it and I am not scared. I might even go for the "stay-awake-during-colonoscopy" experience but since I tried that with the endoscopy and somehow do not remember a thing it likely will be something I will not have much to say about.

Also now that I am 50 I need those glasses that I have been putting off for quite some time. I think that most of my siblings had glasses before they left high school and so for years I have been really lucky to not need any extra help. Just in the last two years I have had real challenges reading fine print. Instruction manuals, prescription containers, some phone keypads and normal size scriptures all give me real problems. I was in a Church book store last summer in Utah and checked out the large-size scriptures that are so huge they really should come with a Sherpa to help you carry them to and from church but I am sure and investment in glasses would be an lesser investment and a better option - Sherpa’s need to eat..but he could sleep the yard and protect the home - see last post. For a while now I have been pulling out a makeshift monocle that is nothing more then a salvaged lens from an old slide projector that has helped me read serial numbers on a computer, instructions on a few prescription containers and several more tasks. I suppose I could just keep using the monocle but everything must be done with one hand and I keep forgetting where I have placed it…hmm maybe my memory is going too as I am fifty. Now those old librarian ladies that walk around telling everybody to shh…wearing glasses on a string around their neck so they are not lost don’t look so funny anymore…wow I am really getting old.

So life begins at 40 and at 50 it carries on for a while – hopefully.